What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

After a few moments he returns.

{RING} {RING}

How will Israelis respond to someone claiming that anti-Zionism is not anti-Semitism, in the same way as anti-feminism not being misogyny and opposing same-sex marriage not being homophobia?

Sure no problem officer.

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Yes sir it is.

If women see themselves as free, dignified, human beings just as good as men, can Trump hang it up and just lose in a landslide at last? How can men who like and respect women help improve womens' self-esteem?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Is the 4B movement's aggressiveness against men for seeing women as mantelpieces valid?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Sorry, Trump supporters, but eventually it will have to be asked: Why didn't Trump do as well in his first term as he is doing NOW?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

HELLO

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

I committed the unpardonable sin. God immediately punished me so that I can no longer think like before and my brain is as if paralyzed and does not work. I've tried everything (confession, repentance, etc.) nothing helps. Any advice?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?